Waiting for Mr. Right

If you're anything like me, the idea of talking to a nice, attractive male makes you want to crawl in a hole and hide. I haven't always been this way. Back in elementary school, you'd never catch me without a "boyfriend" or two, but things changed as I grew up. While I was in college, I was asked on a date and I just paced at the door of my dorm while the poor guy kept looping around the parking lot for about fifteen minutes.I'm honestly surprised I didn't throw up; that's how nervous I was.

When this was happening I just kept wondering, "Why am I like this? Why can't I just be confident?" Now I'm realizing that it's not fair for me to ask myself these questions that make me feel bad about myself. I'm starting to truly believe that when I meet "the one," it will feel organic and I won't have the urge to run as far away as possible. This has me thinking that maybe I've just labeled myself as awkward because I keep pushing myself into awkward relationships that don't work and aren't supposed to.

Maybe I watch too many Hallmark movies, but my expectations on what love should look like are pretty high. Some people say that it's unrealistic to expect so much, but come on. You're talking about the girl that filled a piece of paper, front and back, with the qualities I want my future husband to have. Of course I have high expectations, and I don't think this is a bad thing. I'm aware that I most likely won't find someone that will fill this perfect mold, but knowing what I want will make it easier to find someone that fills at least some of the mold.

I'm not asking for a billionaire to sweep me off of my feet (though I wouldn't refuse), I just want someone who won't care that I sing really loud sometimes. I want someone who will make me laugh when I'm sad and push me to be a better person. I don't want to open my heart to a boy who will get aggravated at me for being sensitive. Bonus if he'll agree to raising cows with me. I really love cows.

What I'm meaning to say is I want to find someone who will be my best friend and love me no matter what. I won't accept any less, because I know that God has someone out there who will completely change my life and take my breath away. I've seen people so in love with each other; I don't want lukewarm comfort. If feeling like this means I won't find anyone, then I guess it's good I bought those "cat lady" socks.

Thanks for reading! Xx